Thank goodness at least we're having nice weather. It's much harder for me to breathe outside when it's cold out. The warmer temperatures have been lovely.
Yesterday, I made the mistake of going out to lunch with Jake and the boys. I say "mistake" because I didn't realize how difficult it was going to be to sit in a restaurant, watching folks eat real food, especially when I was hungry. The meal only lasted an hour but it felt like weeks; I couldn't wait to get out of there! Lesson learned.
I'm pretty ready to rip out these wires and not drink my meals. I keep hoping I'm going to see one of my current 10 or so doctors and she's going to tell me that I'm the exception and the wires can come out in 4 weeks, instead of the anticipated 6-8.
I think that's unlikely but hey!...a girl can dream, can't she?
--K--
Monday, March 8, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Some FAQs...
Here are some answers to FAQs from the peanut gallery.
Q: How does your face look?
A: Remarkably good. Based on my x-rays, I was told I should look somewhat deformed...and I don't. My jaw and lips are still swollen, and my lips have some prominent scars on them. But the facial swelling and black and blue coloring have diminished significantly.
Q: Can you describe the jaw wires?
A: Picture braces that a teenager might wear...except instead of covering my teeth, they are embedded in the gums. Then clinch your teeth as tightly as you can and then use wire to loop each upper band to each lower band.
Q: How do you breathe?
A: With difficulty. The only spaces to breathe are any gaps between my teeth, of which I have very few, and my nose, which is partially blocked.
Q: I'll bet you're drinking a lot of milkshakes.
A: Actually no. I can't use a straw, so I am limited to items that can be sipped from a glass or squirted into my mouth with a syringe. So most of what I drink is lukewarm to avoid tooth sensitivity.
Q: What are you eating?
A: Any liquids. The most solid item I can consume is yogurt and it can't have fruit in it. Yesterday's breakfast was 2 yogurts and a jar of spaghetti sauce I'd put into a blender. It's an odd diet. I've read online of folks who will put anything into a blender...roast beef sandwiches; you name it. That doesn't really appeal to me. I'm also consuming high protein drinks.
Q: I'll bet you're losing weight!
A: Yes, about 10 pounds. I didn't need to lose weight, and I'm not thrilled with feeling so weak. That said, from what I've read, everyone with wired jaws loses weight. The amount you have to drink or time spent syringing food gets tiring. I also understand that everyone gains weight again once the wires come off, so I'm not concerned about it. I'm just trying to make sure I'm maintaining some healthy balance, taking liquid vitamins, etc.
Q: Do you want to rip the wires out?
A: YES!!
Q: How long will you have to wear them?
A: An estimated 6-8 weeks total. This Monday marks the end of Week Two.
Q: What are some of the better suggestions you've received in how to cope with your accident?
A: There are many. Some that stand out include: a) take your pain medications and don't tough it out; b) veggies and fruits with liquids in a blender will taste 100 times better than commercial baby food; c) get used to people staring and go about your life as much as you can; d) listen to your body. When it's telling you to slow down and rest, you should slow down and rest; and finally e) take people up on their offers to help you.
--K--
Q: How does your face look?
A: Remarkably good. Based on my x-rays, I was told I should look somewhat deformed...and I don't. My jaw and lips are still swollen, and my lips have some prominent scars on them. But the facial swelling and black and blue coloring have diminished significantly.
Q: Can you describe the jaw wires?
A: Picture braces that a teenager might wear...except instead of covering my teeth, they are embedded in the gums. Then clinch your teeth as tightly as you can and then use wire to loop each upper band to each lower band.
Q: How do you breathe?
A: With difficulty. The only spaces to breathe are any gaps between my teeth, of which I have very few, and my nose, which is partially blocked.
Q: I'll bet you're drinking a lot of milkshakes.
A: Actually no. I can't use a straw, so I am limited to items that can be sipped from a glass or squirted into my mouth with a syringe. So most of what I drink is lukewarm to avoid tooth sensitivity.
Q: What are you eating?
A: Any liquids. The most solid item I can consume is yogurt and it can't have fruit in it. Yesterday's breakfast was 2 yogurts and a jar of spaghetti sauce I'd put into a blender. It's an odd diet. I've read online of folks who will put anything into a blender...roast beef sandwiches; you name it. That doesn't really appeal to me. I'm also consuming high protein drinks.
Q: I'll bet you're losing weight!
A: Yes, about 10 pounds. I didn't need to lose weight, and I'm not thrilled with feeling so weak. That said, from what I've read, everyone with wired jaws loses weight. The amount you have to drink or time spent syringing food gets tiring. I also understand that everyone gains weight again once the wires come off, so I'm not concerned about it. I'm just trying to make sure I'm maintaining some healthy balance, taking liquid vitamins, etc.
Q: Do you want to rip the wires out?
A: YES!!
Q: How long will you have to wear them?
A: An estimated 6-8 weeks total. This Monday marks the end of Week Two.
Q: What are some of the better suggestions you've received in how to cope with your accident?
A: There are many. Some that stand out include: a) take your pain medications and don't tough it out; b) veggies and fruits with liquids in a blender will taste 100 times better than commercial baby food; c) get used to people staring and go about your life as much as you can; d) listen to your body. When it's telling you to slow down and rest, you should slow down and rest; and finally e) take people up on their offers to help you.
--K--
Friday, March 5, 2010
Today's update
The realities that there will be more challenges ahead hit in a big way today. I saw an ENT, who told me that my breathing difficulties were from bone spurs and a collapsed value blocking my right nostril and partially blocking the left. I will need additional surgeries when the jaw wires are removed to correct these issues.
I'm not surprised; I was told that I might need more surgeries once the previous ones had begun to heal. And having so much difficulty breathing on and off is still uncomfortable and, at times, scary...I have to slow myself down and talk myself out of panicking.
Nonetheless, I had a small meltdown after we left the doctor's office. I'm unhappy about having more surgery and more anesthesia and more nausea and more pain. I realize I'm whining, but that's where I am today. I want my body and my life back again.
Jake continues to be an amazing support. And I never take for granted that I'm really really lucky to have all of my wonderful family members and friends. My mother- and father-in-law sent me flowers that arrived right after I returned from the doctor's office. God is very busy letting me know I'm well-cared for.
--K--
I'm not surprised; I was told that I might need more surgeries once the previous ones had begun to heal. And having so much difficulty breathing on and off is still uncomfortable and, at times, scary...I have to slow myself down and talk myself out of panicking.
Nonetheless, I had a small meltdown after we left the doctor's office. I'm unhappy about having more surgery and more anesthesia and more nausea and more pain. I realize I'm whining, but that's where I am today. I want my body and my life back again.
Jake continues to be an amazing support. And I never take for granted that I'm really really lucky to have all of my wonderful family members and friends. My mother- and father-in-law sent me flowers that arrived right after I returned from the doctor's office. God is very busy letting me know I'm well-cared for.
--K--
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Thank you...
This list won't be inclusive but I'll do my best. So many wonderful wonderful friends, family members, and strangers have moved me deeply. "Thank you" barely scratches the surface of the depth of my appreciation.
My husband Jake, whose love and patience make me very happy that we are life partners.
The Monsters, who remind me that hugs and stuffies are important in healing.
My brother Alan, whose sense of humor and pragmatic advice remind me so much of our father and mother. I am so glad I have my brother in my life!!
My father, whose sense of humor and resiliency, clearly inherited from his parents, were passed along to me.
My mother, who loved life, collected amazing friends, and taught me the joy of marshmallow sweet potatoes.
My stepdad Harry, who called them like he saw them. I know he's cheering me on.
Lee, for her calls and support and for nice reminders of my father.
My cousin Lance and his partner Cary. For recipes that I can eat with my jaw wired shut using only an EZ Bake Oven.
Our friend and fairy godmother Pam, whose love of our family and our doggie makes our lives so much richer.
My other brothers and sister, for their precious notes of support. :-)
Rocky, Daisy, Brandi Lee, Ladybird, Carly, Maggie, Linc, Muffin, Max, Kobe, and Coach, who remind me that all pills go down better with a treat.
Yasmin and Steve, for Rocky Jr. and Tyger Jr. and her new book. And for a longtime friendship.
Jake's family, who always makes me feel like one of the gang.
My Uncle Veeck, his partner Rosie, and Pudge, whose love of chickens still makes me laugh.
My cousins Steve, Debbie, Laura, Todd, John, Mindy, Mike Melanie, and Jeff, for their support and the Friend family spirit. And a reminder that a horse is a horse, of course of course...
My mentors and friends at work. I am blessed to work with such an amazingly intelligent, talented, and caring group of individuals.
Our neighbors, who always seem to find ways to do nice things for us before we've even asked and who really define what "neighbors" is about.
My Pinemere friends (Go Greens!) who, after a 30-year absence, rekindled the gift of sisterhood.
Doug in CA, who even bought his own syringe to join the fun.
Cheryl who has been so good about keeping in touch long after the demise of Crown Books.
My friends who have multiple sclerosis and who work for the MS Society. They are truly grace under fire and their energy to fight this disease encourages me to fight my small battle here.
And the same for my friends who fight breast cancer and other challenges. They inspire me.
Trish, Kaki, Rachel, Peanut, and Vivian. For love and laughter and Whole Foods.
MiniBird, who understands the importance of a blanket and a good snack.
Diane, whose coffee cake in a blender is rumored to be out of this world.
My Aunt Barbara and Freedman cousins, for their well-wishes and for being wonderful aunt and cousins.
Bill, who suggested that the inability to breathe is a real problem needing an aggressive response. And for 30 years of mentoring and friendship.
My dear friend David, for love, support, and Tiliapia Smoothies.
My Yale buddies, for their wisdom and love over the years. Go Bulldogs!
Holly, Selene, Kim, Christy, and Cris. For friendship, support, and baby food recipes.
Adrianna, for cowboy boots and loaf.
David and Susan, who helped inspire this blog.
Robin, who understands that you can be a lot more productive if you're wearing fuzzy slippers.
Beth, whose tales from the gym gave me a good laugh.
Other family members and friends and strangers, too numerous to mention, who cheered me on and whose love and support remind me of what a special place this world is.
To all of you...THANK YOU!!!....
--K--
My husband Jake, whose love and patience make me very happy that we are life partners.
The Monsters, who remind me that hugs and stuffies are important in healing.
My brother Alan, whose sense of humor and pragmatic advice remind me so much of our father and mother. I am so glad I have my brother in my life!!
My father, whose sense of humor and resiliency, clearly inherited from his parents, were passed along to me.
My mother, who loved life, collected amazing friends, and taught me the joy of marshmallow sweet potatoes.
My stepdad Harry, who called them like he saw them. I know he's cheering me on.
Lee, for her calls and support and for nice reminders of my father.
My cousin Lance and his partner Cary. For recipes that I can eat with my jaw wired shut using only an EZ Bake Oven.
Our friend and fairy godmother Pam, whose love of our family and our doggie makes our lives so much richer.
My other brothers and sister, for their precious notes of support. :-)
Rocky, Daisy, Brandi Lee, Ladybird, Carly, Maggie, Linc, Muffin, Max, Kobe, and Coach, who remind me that all pills go down better with a treat.
Yasmin and Steve, for Rocky Jr. and Tyger Jr. and her new book. And for a longtime friendship.
Jake's family, who always makes me feel like one of the gang.
My Uncle Veeck, his partner Rosie, and Pudge, whose love of chickens still makes me laugh.
My cousins Steve, Debbie, Laura, Todd, John, Mindy, Mike Melanie, and Jeff, for their support and the Friend family spirit. And a reminder that a horse is a horse, of course of course...
My mentors and friends at work. I am blessed to work with such an amazingly intelligent, talented, and caring group of individuals.
Our neighbors, who always seem to find ways to do nice things for us before we've even asked and who really define what "neighbors" is about.
My Pinemere friends (Go Greens!) who, after a 30-year absence, rekindled the gift of sisterhood.
Doug in CA, who even bought his own syringe to join the fun.
Cheryl who has been so good about keeping in touch long after the demise of Crown Books.
My friends who have multiple sclerosis and who work for the MS Society. They are truly grace under fire and their energy to fight this disease encourages me to fight my small battle here.
And the same for my friends who fight breast cancer and other challenges. They inspire me.
Trish, Kaki, Rachel, Peanut, and Vivian. For love and laughter and Whole Foods.
MiniBird, who understands the importance of a blanket and a good snack.
Diane, whose coffee cake in a blender is rumored to be out of this world.
My Aunt Barbara and Freedman cousins, for their well-wishes and for being wonderful aunt and cousins.
Bill, who suggested that the inability to breathe is a real problem needing an aggressive response. And for 30 years of mentoring and friendship.
My dear friend David, for love, support, and Tiliapia Smoothies.
My Yale buddies, for their wisdom and love over the years. Go Bulldogs!
Holly, Selene, Kim, Christy, and Cris. For friendship, support, and baby food recipes.
Adrianna, for cowboy boots and loaf.
David and Susan, who helped inspire this blog.
Robin, who understands that you can be a lot more productive if you're wearing fuzzy slippers.
Beth, whose tales from the gym gave me a good laugh.
Other family members and friends and strangers, too numerous to mention, who cheered me on and whose love and support remind me of what a special place this world is.
To all of you...THANK YOU!!!....
--K--
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
And we're back...
So, I'm still here, cup of decafe in hand, bleeding on the cup, snoring because my airways are still blocked (this just gets better and better by the second, doesn't it?), and thought it would be a good time for an update.
We came home very late last night and I am sooooo happy to be back (snow and all!). The most difficult part was trying to travel without carrying too much for the vertebral fracture. I've come to the conclusion that traveling is a lot easier if you're healthy. I was also concerned about having ear/sinus problems with the changes in cabin pressure on takeoff and landing, but that wasn't too bad.
The refrigerator had a surprise restocking with tons of juices and home cooked meals by our wonderful neighbors. I was so moved by their generosity and thoughtfulness. Events like this really reinforce my belief that there is a LOT of good in the world.
Visitors are welcome. I will be spending a fair amount of time at doctors' offices and just engaging in activities of daily living. When eating a yogurt takes 45 minutes, your day fills up pretty quickly! But if you'll be visiting, just make sure you let me know if you'll be bringing your own syringe for a snack or if you want to borrow one of mine.
--K--
We came home very late last night and I am sooooo happy to be back (snow and all!). The most difficult part was trying to travel without carrying too much for the vertebral fracture. I've come to the conclusion that traveling is a lot easier if you're healthy. I was also concerned about having ear/sinus problems with the changes in cabin pressure on takeoff and landing, but that wasn't too bad.
The refrigerator had a surprise restocking with tons of juices and home cooked meals by our wonderful neighbors. I was so moved by their generosity and thoughtfulness. Events like this really reinforce my belief that there is a LOT of good in the world.
Visitors are welcome. I will be spending a fair amount of time at doctors' offices and just engaging in activities of daily living. When eating a yogurt takes 45 minutes, your day fills up pretty quickly! But if you'll be visiting, just make sure you let me know if you'll be bringing your own syringe for a snack or if you want to borrow one of mine.
--K--
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
And away we go...for real! :-)
Happy girl! I'm going home tonight. In fact, I'm typing this in the airport. Even my jaw wire cutters made it. I think the process of getting through security exhausted me enough to sleep for about 6 hours.
And better still, I got all of the bandages off! My face still hurts like heck but at least I can take a shower and wash my hair.
In contrast, the wires were tightened. I wonder if there's a way to blenderize a Snickers Bar to make it syringe-ready?
--K--
PS: The airport has Muscle Milk! Is that good karma or what??!!
And better still, I got all of the bandages off! My face still hurts like heck but at least I can take a shower and wash my hair.
In contrast, the wires were tightened. I wonder if there's a way to blenderize a Snickers Bar to make it syringe-ready?
--K--
PS: The airport has Muscle Milk! Is that good karma or what??!!
And away we go...
I'm really really hoping to get the surgeon's ok to go home today. My suitcase is mostly filled with pharmaceuticals and a token pair of jeans and t-shirt. Thank you everyone and hopefully my next post will be from Massachusetts!!
--K--
--K--
Monday, March 1, 2010
Not a bad day
I'm doing much better than I was even a week ago. The facial deformity and bruising have improved exponentially. I still have a lot of trouble breathing; I'm still eating with a syringe; and I still get tired insanely easily.
But things have improved enough that there is a good chance we can go home tomorrow, and I can complete additional treatments in MA. Happy camper here! I miss the Monsters and doggie and friends and neighbors. Cold weather be damned!
My body is demanding I respect a lot of its limitations right now. For example, despite the fact that I'm taking fewer pain medications, I'm still incredibly tired. Likely, I assume, because there is an enormous amount of energy involved in healing. I won't be able to drive for awhile and that will be challenging in suburbia. I could go on but suffice it to say, I'm learning a lot about letting go of what I can't control...and there's a lot I can't control.
On a more humorous note...tonight's dinner was cream of chicken soup. I didn't realize the tiny pieces of chicken would find a way to get lodged in the metal in my mouth and cut off a far amount of air. So I frantically brushed the braces and swirled water to make sure the airways spaces stayed open. I have one piece of chicken though that is now lodged on a wire on the inside of my mouth and I can't seem to get it to move. I hope some liquid one day forces it out of its current location and that it doesn't just sit there until these come off in 1 - 2 months! Does this sound like something Rosaana Anna Dana from the old SNL would have written?
--K--
But things have improved enough that there is a good chance we can go home tomorrow, and I can complete additional treatments in MA. Happy camper here! I miss the Monsters and doggie and friends and neighbors. Cold weather be damned!
My body is demanding I respect a lot of its limitations right now. For example, despite the fact that I'm taking fewer pain medications, I'm still incredibly tired. Likely, I assume, because there is an enormous amount of energy involved in healing. I won't be able to drive for awhile and that will be challenging in suburbia. I could go on but suffice it to say, I'm learning a lot about letting go of what I can't control...and there's a lot I can't control.
On a more humorous note...tonight's dinner was cream of chicken soup. I didn't realize the tiny pieces of chicken would find a way to get lodged in the metal in my mouth and cut off a far amount of air. So I frantically brushed the braces and swirled water to make sure the airways spaces stayed open. I have one piece of chicken though that is now lodged on a wire on the inside of my mouth and I can't seem to get it to move. I hope some liquid one day forces it out of its current location and that it doesn't just sit there until these come off in 1 - 2 months! Does this sound like something Rosaana Anna Dana from the old SNL would have written?
--K--
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Baby food - the lies exposed
So, I purchased a variety of foods in the "for babies" aisle. And the sweet stuff (fruit; oatmeal) wasn't half bad.
But I was really excited about finally getting to eat a "real" meal. Beef and vegetables. Chicken and rice. Beans and carrots.
And? It all tasted like intensely bland, overcooked squash.
If I were a baby/toddler with more cognitive skills and motor dexterity than the average baby/toddler, I would let my parents know they were being sold a bridge to nowhere. No wonder as soon as kids can, they eat crap. They've been lead astray in their precious formative years, being told that all of these tasty foods were really going to taste...well...tasty. Why should they now believe that a diet of only cheez doodlz, soda, and Snickers Bars isn't good for you?
I'm just sayin'...
--K..
But I was really excited about finally getting to eat a "real" meal. Beef and vegetables. Chicken and rice. Beans and carrots.
And? It all tasted like intensely bland, overcooked squash.
If I were a baby/toddler with more cognitive skills and motor dexterity than the average baby/toddler, I would let my parents know they were being sold a bridge to nowhere. No wonder as soon as kids can, they eat crap. They've been lead astray in their precious formative years, being told that all of these tasty foods were really going to taste...well...tasty. Why should they now believe that a diet of only cheez doodlz, soda, and Snickers Bars isn't good for you?
I'm just sayin'...
--K..
Another day, another new adventure...
Every day, I learn something new regarding how to deal with this strange set of circumstances. Yesterday's gem came from my friend Holly, who suggested that I check out the baby foods aisle of the grocery store. I had been waiting until we got home, thinking that I would just put everything I could find into a blender. She said the baby foods industry has super blenders that can pulverize foods into a gloppy enough state to be syringe-ready.
I'm psyched to have an entirely new section of the store I can explore. I was becoming concerned when I was already getting sick of yogurt and I still have 6-8 weeks to go! Fortunately, I'm still pretty happy with cream of anything soup, Muscle Milk, and pudding, so I still have a few staples.
The smallest improvements continue to feel like huge victories. Yesterday, we went to a movie ("Valentine's Day"). I stayed awake, despite my medications, and it felt so good to be out and about and to ignore everything for a little while.
Today's adventure will be a trip to the gym. I'm not sure I'll do much there. I don't want to injure the vertebral or rib fractures. I can barely breathe just sitting, so I'd probably suffocate performing my usual cardio routine. I'll probably do some leg machines and a few crunches but at least I'll have made my way back into the place after about 2 weeks. I hope to be "strong like bull" again soon!
--K--
PS: I have since discovered that "go to the gym" and "work out at the gym" are completely different animals. I'd say the hardest part of going to the gym accepting my limitations. I have no energy whatsoever. But I'm being uncharacteristically patient with myself.
I'm psyched to have an entirely new section of the store I can explore. I was becoming concerned when I was already getting sick of yogurt and I still have 6-8 weeks to go! Fortunately, I'm still pretty happy with cream of anything soup, Muscle Milk, and pudding, so I still have a few staples.
The smallest improvements continue to feel like huge victories. Yesterday, we went to a movie ("Valentine's Day"). I stayed awake, despite my medications, and it felt so good to be out and about and to ignore everything for a little while.
Today's adventure will be a trip to the gym. I'm not sure I'll do much there. I don't want to injure the vertebral or rib fractures. I can barely breathe just sitting, so I'd probably suffocate performing my usual cardio routine. I'll probably do some leg machines and a few crunches but at least I'll have made my way back into the place after about 2 weeks. I hope to be "strong like bull" again soon!
--K--
PS: I have since discovered that "go to the gym" and "work out at the gym" are completely different animals. I'd say the hardest part of going to the gym accepting my limitations. I have no energy whatsoever. But I'm being uncharacteristically patient with myself.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Reality check
We got some photos taken for medical records back today. I look horrific, even in shots taken as recently as yesterday. It made me sad. Not because I look disfigured; no doubt I do, but because it was a brutal and stark reminder of how horrific this accident was and still is.
That's why all of your support means so much to me. Thank you. It would be very easy to give in to depression.
--K--
PS: I don't intend to keep looking at the photos but it's actually been an unexpectedly positive experience. It's a little too easy for me to deny the seriousness of what happened. The reality check, and pausing to feel sad (but not immersing myself in it), are good, and healing.
That's why all of your support means so much to me. Thank you. It would be very easy to give in to depression.
--K--
PS: I don't intend to keep looking at the photos but it's actually been an unexpectedly positive experience. It's a little too easy for me to deny the seriousness of what happened. The reality check, and pausing to feel sad (but not immersing myself in it), are good, and healing.
Heaven in a cup
Jello has Chocolate Mousse in the refrigerated foods section. I can't eat it without diluting it with some Muscle Milk because it won't go into the syringe (and I can't locate the "to eat with a syringe" instructions on the package). Heaven in a cup!!
I am pretty tired this morning; had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. But yesterday was a good day and I'll take any good days I can get. I could breathe better; I got to stop taking one of my antibiotics (not that taking it bothered me; I just like taking one fewer thing); and I could wash my hair. Little things make a huge difference!
Our bathroom looks like a pharmacy. I have SO many pills upon pills that I take at various times throughout the day. My latest plan is to sell any of the narcotics to new friends I meet on the street, then advertise for a research study on narcotics and get funding to study that. Clearly this is an overlooked money making scheme if ever there was one!!
A number of people mentioned the staring issue, so I thought I'd follow-up.
I don't think people mean to be rude. I am usually on the other side of the fence anyway. Our society is so bombarded with invasions of our personal space, that I think part of the staring and hesitation is that people don't want to invade it further. People, even strangers, have generally been so nice. I think folks just don't know how to approach disability. I may try to make it easier by leading in with something humorous, like "if it weren't for that fall, I would have won the Gold!" I also don't interpret their responses as pity; I see genuine concern.
I think we can go home Wednesday or Thursday. HOOOOOORRRRAAAAYYYYYY! I miss the Monsters and the doggie and our friends and....
--K--
I am pretty tired this morning; had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. But yesterday was a good day and I'll take any good days I can get. I could breathe better; I got to stop taking one of my antibiotics (not that taking it bothered me; I just like taking one fewer thing); and I could wash my hair. Little things make a huge difference!
Our bathroom looks like a pharmacy. I have SO many pills upon pills that I take at various times throughout the day. My latest plan is to sell any of the narcotics to new friends I meet on the street, then advertise for a research study on narcotics and get funding to study that. Clearly this is an overlooked money making scheme if ever there was one!!
A number of people mentioned the staring issue, so I thought I'd follow-up.
I don't think people mean to be rude. I am usually on the other side of the fence anyway. Our society is so bombarded with invasions of our personal space, that I think part of the staring and hesitation is that people don't want to invade it further. People, even strangers, have generally been so nice. I think folks just don't know how to approach disability. I may try to make it easier by leading in with something humorous, like "if it weren't for that fall, I would have won the Gold!" I also don't interpret their responses as pity; I see genuine concern.
I think we can go home Wednesday or Thursday. HOOOOOORRRRAAAAYYYYYY! I miss the Monsters and the doggie and our friends and....
--K--
Friday, February 26, 2010
Better day
Maybe I just needed to have a bad day. Little has changed between yesterday and today, but I'm in much better spirits today.
There is small gyros restaurant near here and every time we walk past it, I crave one with a vengeance. I'm pretty sure I'm eating enough protein but there's a big difference between chewing it and drinking 6 containers of Muscle Milk. I can't wait to down a big plate of beef covered in vegetables! Even after the wires come out in 6-8 weeks though, I think it'll be awhile before I can sink my teeth into that little number.
I uncharacteristically want to sleep half the day. Jake is pushing me to take walks and go out. Last night, we saw Wicked. It was hard to stay awake, but I'm glad I was forced to go. As for the play itself, the plot is a little hard to follow but there's great singing and dancing.
Random observations:
Many people who work in hospitals are dedicated angels who make the world a better place. But there are a number who just don't like their jobs or patients. For example, my roommate (not the "why didn't I get wheat toast??" one) called for a nurse to help her to the rest room at around 3 AM. She was in a lot of pain and on an IV and could not navigate the trip independently. It took no less than 45 minutes for someone to come and that turned out to be the norm. And it's just not that busy at 3 AM! I was way too weak to be making this same trip without assistance but there was no way I was going to wait around for someone. Hospitals teach you a lot about dependency and what it is like to have, or not have, the very basic of needs met.
I like shopping at grocery stores and Target because I can walk around and steady myself with the cart and no one can tell that's why I have the cart.
People don't know what to do with someone who breaks social conventions. I'm not sure I'm any better with this either. I can tell that when people see me, they don't know whether to ask if I'm ok or look away or ignore the huge bruises and bandages on my face. We don't have a social etiquette that says how to handle these things.
Oh dear. Pain meds are kicking in...which is good but I think I should do something more today than type and sleep. So up we go!
--K--
There is small gyros restaurant near here and every time we walk past it, I crave one with a vengeance. I'm pretty sure I'm eating enough protein but there's a big difference between chewing it and drinking 6 containers of Muscle Milk. I can't wait to down a big plate of beef covered in vegetables! Even after the wires come out in 6-8 weeks though, I think it'll be awhile before I can sink my teeth into that little number.
I uncharacteristically want to sleep half the day. Jake is pushing me to take walks and go out. Last night, we saw Wicked. It was hard to stay awake, but I'm glad I was forced to go. As for the play itself, the plot is a little hard to follow but there's great singing and dancing.
Random observations:
Many people who work in hospitals are dedicated angels who make the world a better place. But there are a number who just don't like their jobs or patients. For example, my roommate (not the "why didn't I get wheat toast??" one) called for a nurse to help her to the rest room at around 3 AM. She was in a lot of pain and on an IV and could not navigate the trip independently. It took no less than 45 minutes for someone to come and that turned out to be the norm. And it's just not that busy at 3 AM! I was way too weak to be making this same trip without assistance but there was no way I was going to wait around for someone. Hospitals teach you a lot about dependency and what it is like to have, or not have, the very basic of needs met.
I like shopping at grocery stores and Target because I can walk around and steady myself with the cart and no one can tell that's why I have the cart.
People don't know what to do with someone who breaks social conventions. I'm not sure I'm any better with this either. I can tell that when people see me, they don't know whether to ask if I'm ok or look away or ignore the huge bruises and bandages on my face. We don't have a social etiquette that says how to handle these things.
Oh dear. Pain meds are kicking in...which is good but I think I should do something more today than type and sleep. So up we go!
--K--
Blech!!
Sorry for the lack of updates today. I was feeling very frustrated with my difficulty breathing; hungry and wanting to eat real food; tired of being tired; fed up with drooling all day long and carrying around a washcloth because I have no control over it...just generally grumpy and crabby and discouraged. I had a small meltdown with Jake earlier.
I'm now having a very late pudding snack a la syringe, and hoping Ms. Terrible Attitude has a better day tomorrow. If not, I'll share my glorious pity party here.
--K--
I'm now having a very late pudding snack a la syringe, and hoping Ms. Terrible Attitude has a better day tomorrow. If not, I'll share my glorious pity party here.
--K--
Thursday, February 25, 2010
www.willitblend.com
My friends David and Robin recommended these, and I almost ruptured my stitches laughing. Decided they are WAY too good to be buried in the comments. Check out all of the "Will It Blend" series.
If only my blender had a "Tilapia Smoothie" button!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICuxBf1Ieu4
If only my blender had a "Tilapia Smoothie" button!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICuxBf1Ieu4
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Do not try this at home!
I guess I was becoming too confident about my syringe eating technique. I decided to take it a step further by creating a meal (kind of). So I cooked oatmeal and yogurt on the handy in-room mini coffeemaker. Then I took a syringe bite.
What I discovered was that, instead of going into my mouth, it just put up a big wall of oatmeal paste outside of 1/2 of my mouth, thereby blocking off 1/2 of my airspace. So I then proceeded to frantically spit and brush the stuff off of my teeth and onto anything I was wearing and the floor. Very attractive move.
We are now returning to our culinary favorites and letting oatmeal retire for about 8 weeks, unless it's been blenderized beyond recognition.
--K--
What I discovered was that, instead of going into my mouth, it just put up a big wall of oatmeal paste outside of 1/2 of my mouth, thereby blocking off 1/2 of my airspace. So I then proceeded to frantically spit and brush the stuff off of my teeth and onto anything I was wearing and the floor. Very attractive move.
We are now returning to our culinary favorites and letting oatmeal retire for about 8 weeks, unless it's been blenderized beyond recognition.
--K--
Lots of good advice
I really need a book called, "What To Do If You Break Every Bone In Your Face and Have to Get Back on Your Feet in a Hotel 1000 Miles From Home." Not having this item, I've been asking for, and receiving, tons and tons of useful advice.
Such as? How to use wax to keep the pokey jaw wires in place. Making sure that I let the doctor know I'm not able to breathe at times (turns out that's common and my mouth will adjust to the wires and my nose will stop swelling soon. Scary when it happens though!). What pain meds are more or less likely to make me sick. My dear friend David reminded me that I have to be *past* the trauma to be dealing with POST-traumatic stress.
Everyday is a very slow start. Today we had the usual hour of squirting down a yogurt. Then Jake washed my hair because I can't get the bandages on my face wet. He has really been an amazing friend and partner through all of this!
We then went to the facial surgeon's office. He cleaned out my nose. It hurts like heck, but feels good to breathe for awhile afterwards. I go for another of these treatments on Friday. He and his staff are very knowledgeable and gentle. He also has a very funny sense of humor, so as I'm crying through the procedure, I'm laughing at his comments.
We then ran a few more errands, including getting copies of my medical records from the hospital. I went too long without food and pain medication and did not feel too good when we got back. I was shocked to find out I've lost 10 pounds. Weird that it's possible to spend so much time worrying about putting on weight, and when you're sick, weight comes off and it's not desirable at all.
I've discovered food favorites at the moment are any juice, cream of broccoli soup, and this stuff called Muscle Milk, a high protein concoction that goes down pretty easily. Ice cream and smoothies are out because I don't like cold stuff against my teeth and I can't use a straw. This diet soda queen has had maybe one, if that, in the last week and a half. No interest. I have also stopped drinking coffee (stopped in the hospital and figured since I was already over caffeine withdrawal, why restart).
My room is crowded with beautiful flowers from friends and family. And my very special friend Yasmin sent me two stuffies...one Tigger and one that looks just like Rocky (I named him Rocky Jr.)...and a copy of her new book, "Enlightening the World" about the Statue of Liberty (Yasmin Khan). Check it out; she is an eloquent author.
--K--
Such as? How to use wax to keep the pokey jaw wires in place. Making sure that I let the doctor know I'm not able to breathe at times (turns out that's common and my mouth will adjust to the wires and my nose will stop swelling soon. Scary when it happens though!). What pain meds are more or less likely to make me sick. My dear friend David reminded me that I have to be *past* the trauma to be dealing with POST-traumatic stress.
Everyday is a very slow start. Today we had the usual hour of squirting down a yogurt. Then Jake washed my hair because I can't get the bandages on my face wet. He has really been an amazing friend and partner through all of this!
We then went to the facial surgeon's office. He cleaned out my nose. It hurts like heck, but feels good to breathe for awhile afterwards. I go for another of these treatments on Friday. He and his staff are very knowledgeable and gentle. He also has a very funny sense of humor, so as I'm crying through the procedure, I'm laughing at his comments.
We then ran a few more errands, including getting copies of my medical records from the hospital. I went too long without food and pain medication and did not feel too good when we got back. I was shocked to find out I've lost 10 pounds. Weird that it's possible to spend so much time worrying about putting on weight, and when you're sick, weight comes off and it's not desirable at all.
I've discovered food favorites at the moment are any juice, cream of broccoli soup, and this stuff called Muscle Milk, a high protein concoction that goes down pretty easily. Ice cream and smoothies are out because I don't like cold stuff against my teeth and I can't use a straw. This diet soda queen has had maybe one, if that, in the last week and a half. No interest. I have also stopped drinking coffee (stopped in the hospital and figured since I was already over caffeine withdrawal, why restart).
My room is crowded with beautiful flowers from friends and family. And my very special friend Yasmin sent me two stuffies...one Tigger and one that looks just like Rocky (I named him Rocky Jr.)...and a copy of her new book, "Enlightening the World" about the Statue of Liberty (Yasmin Khan). Check it out; she is an eloquent author.
--K--
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
More sobering thoughts
Just a few...
First, I am realizing that I'm experiencing some post-traumatic stress,and there might be more to come. For example, I'm really uncomfortable riding in cars because of the possibility of an accident. It's also hard for me to not relive the sound of my face hitting the pavement.
Second, I am hearing more and more about other individuals who have had serious accidents on this device. Here is a sample:
http://www.aboutlawsuits.com/segway-scooter-394/
Third, I hope I can breathe through my nose again soon. That, combined with my jaw wired shut, is making the lack of easily-obtained oxygen really uncomfortable.
I have intentionally not posted photos. Not because I'm concerned about how I look (which surprises me) but because of the reactions I've received from several friends and family members who have seen me and/or photos. It's not something with which you want to surprise people.
The things that I expected to be bothering me...not being able to be active, having a thirty minute car ride be a major production, the possibility that my face will be deformed for some time to come...really aren't. It is also easy to take things one day at a time regarding when I have more surgeries, when I see which doctor, when we leave, etc. Since I don't have control over 99% of this, it's been remarkably easy for Type-A me to let go of it.
--K--
First, I am realizing that I'm experiencing some post-traumatic stress,and there might be more to come. For example, I'm really uncomfortable riding in cars because of the possibility of an accident. It's also hard for me to not relive the sound of my face hitting the pavement.
Second, I am hearing more and more about other individuals who have had serious accidents on this device. Here is a sample:
http://www.aboutlawsuits.com/segway-scooter-394/
Third, I hope I can breathe through my nose again soon. That, combined with my jaw wired shut, is making the lack of easily-obtained oxygen really uncomfortable.
I have intentionally not posted photos. Not because I'm concerned about how I look (which surprises me) but because of the reactions I've received from several friends and family members who have seen me and/or photos. It's not something with which you want to surprise people.
The things that I expected to be bothering me...not being able to be active, having a thirty minute car ride be a major production, the possibility that my face will be deformed for some time to come...really aren't. It is also easy to take things one day at a time regarding when I have more surgeries, when I see which doctor, when we leave, etc. Since I don't have control over 99% of this, it's been remarkably easy for Type-A me to let go of it.
--K--
Never eat anything that can't be put into a syringe!
Ok...that just sounds wrong. Anyhoo...
Last night was rough because the pain was much more acute. I was reluctant to take more medications, however, because I don't want to feel nauseous. Plus, if I throw up, I have to find a way to quickly cut the jaw wires. I now have wire cutters in my purse (every woman's staple). So I am pretty wiped out today. Fortunately, I have no major press conferences either.
EVERYTHING is a production. Partly from pain; partly from feeling awkward; partly from being weak. A bath/shower is a minimum of a half hour; double that if I want to wash my hair. Eating a bowl of soup runs 1-2 hours.
The only way I can get down anything other than juice is with a syringe, squirting the food past my wired teeth. Because I can't breathe through my nose yet since the nasal surgery, half of the food makes it into my mouth; the other half lands on my shirt. Between the blood and drool and snoring, I am quite the little vixen! I now see that the reason people lose weight on liquid diets is not because of what they're eating; it's because half of it lands on their clothes.
Today I saw the facial surgeon, which I will be doing daily for the rest of this and early next week. I also will be visiting an orthopedist for the vertebra fracture(s). The facial surgeon is a delightful mix of very professional with an excellent bedside manner. I feel I am very capable hands. If I am lucky, the nose brace will come off at the end of the week. Unfortunately, the jaw wiring will likely have to stay on longer than 6 weeks because that is the worst of the facial damage, but time will tell. Time will also tell what I will need for additional surgeries and treatment but those can wait until we return home.
Our plan at the moment (and this is in flux) is to leave roughly the middle of next week. By then, the pain and bruising should be down to a dull roar. I'll have mastered the syringe eating technique and be able to walk down a train corridor; I couldn't possibly do that at the moment. We are leaning towards taking the train instead of flying because of the sinus fractures. In theory, I should be able to fly but I'm not eager to find out that was incorrect midway through a 4 hour flight.
Jake and I continue to be deeply touched by the outpouring of love and support we are receiving. I am certain I have the BEST family members and friends in the world. :-) The Clearwater Beach Hilton Hotel staff have been remarkably nice to us as well.
Give someone you care about an extra hug tonight. And I will do the same.
--K--
Last night was rough because the pain was much more acute. I was reluctant to take more medications, however, because I don't want to feel nauseous. Plus, if I throw up, I have to find a way to quickly cut the jaw wires. I now have wire cutters in my purse (every woman's staple). So I am pretty wiped out today. Fortunately, I have no major press conferences either.
EVERYTHING is a production. Partly from pain; partly from feeling awkward; partly from being weak. A bath/shower is a minimum of a half hour; double that if I want to wash my hair. Eating a bowl of soup runs 1-2 hours.
The only way I can get down anything other than juice is with a syringe, squirting the food past my wired teeth. Because I can't breathe through my nose yet since the nasal surgery, half of the food makes it into my mouth; the other half lands on my shirt. Between the blood and drool and snoring, I am quite the little vixen! I now see that the reason people lose weight on liquid diets is not because of what they're eating; it's because half of it lands on their clothes.
Today I saw the facial surgeon, which I will be doing daily for the rest of this and early next week. I also will be visiting an orthopedist for the vertebra fracture(s). The facial surgeon is a delightful mix of very professional with an excellent bedside manner. I feel I am very capable hands. If I am lucky, the nose brace will come off at the end of the week. Unfortunately, the jaw wiring will likely have to stay on longer than 6 weeks because that is the worst of the facial damage, but time will tell. Time will also tell what I will need for additional surgeries and treatment but those can wait until we return home.
Our plan at the moment (and this is in flux) is to leave roughly the middle of next week. By then, the pain and bruising should be down to a dull roar. I'll have mastered the syringe eating technique and be able to walk down a train corridor; I couldn't possibly do that at the moment. We are leaning towards taking the train instead of flying because of the sinus fractures. In theory, I should be able to fly but I'm not eager to find out that was incorrect midway through a 4 hour flight.
Jake and I continue to be deeply touched by the outpouring of love and support we are receiving. I am certain I have the BEST family members and friends in the world. :-) The Clearwater Beach Hilton Hotel staff have been remarkably nice to us as well.
Give someone you care about an extra hug tonight. And I will do the same.
--K--
Monday, February 22, 2010
Rough day
I wanted to check in with all of the wonderful people cheering me on. What a difference so much good positive energy makes! Thank you all!
I had about 3-4 hours of oral surgery. The main events were that the upper and lower jaws were reset and wired shut and my nose was replaced in its socket. There were a few other adventures but that represents the lion's share of today's activities.
I am in a lot of pain; can't breath because my nose continues to bleed (which is expected); and just do not feel good at all. I don't feel sorry for myself in the least, and I'm sure it's because of all of you. That said, I'd rather feel better.
I discovered that I can drink liquids with NO solids in them whatsoever and what works best is using a syringe to shoot the liquids into my mouth. Even straws don't work. This is going to be interesting the next time I go out to dinner with any of you.
Enjoy your steak and gum and caramels and peanuts tonight!!
I had about 3-4 hours of oral surgery. The main events were that the upper and lower jaws were reset and wired shut and my nose was replaced in its socket. There were a few other adventures but that represents the lion's share of today's activities.
I am in a lot of pain; can't breath because my nose continues to bleed (which is expected); and just do not feel good at all. I don't feel sorry for myself in the least, and I'm sure it's because of all of you. That said, I'd rather feel better.
I discovered that I can drink liquids with NO solids in them whatsoever and what works best is using a syringe to shoot the liquids into my mouth. Even straws don't work. This is going to be interesting the next time I go out to dinner with any of you.
Enjoy your steak and gum and caramels and peanuts tonight!!
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